Jerry's Pick: "Before"

“Before”-NIKI

Here’s a not so happily-after-ever ballad born from a dorm-room college crush and all the emotions related to an unrequited deep love and depressing loss. NIKI takes you there by digging deep into her own recent all-too-real personal past by piecing together her pain through poetry.

Some have drawn parallels between this track and Olivia Rodrigo’s breakthrough break-up confessional “Drivers License” from last year, but… “Before” is a zillion-times better. Sure, NIKI comes across vulnerable and melancholy, but also raw and direct with a composition more complete and complex.

It’s an all-too-familiar fractured fairytale. After those post-break-up blues settle into the quietest part of your heart, your hippocampus jumps into overdrive, pulling-up memories in a non-linear fashion, quickly jumping from highs to lows back to highs sprinkled with flashes of how-comes and what-ifs. While listening closely to NIKI’s lyrics, that’s how “Before” appears to have been written.

NIKI – who began writing the song while in her late-teens -- explained, "'Before' is the irresolute ending to my very first love story. I wrote it as a means to create the kind of closure I never had.

While researching NIKI (born Nicole Zefanya), I discovered she’s been a fan of Taylor Swift. Learning this, I’m almost certain a good chunk of her inspiration came from “All Too Well” which details Swift’s own doomed relationship.

From start to finish, “Before” is a four-minute audio-book set to music detailing her other-side-of-the-world long-distance (Indonesia/US East Coast) ill-fated relationship.

“I just flew across the globe/Twenty-two hours just to see you…"

And in NIKI’s case, her heart is like a ticking time bomb. Before they part for the last time, her thoughts obsessively calculate ways to remedy the rescinding romance by surrendering self-esteem while considering becoming that person your future-ex wanted you to be.

“Yeah, we've got forty-eight hours left/Before I fly back to my death…"

But, the affair’s autopsy revealed the romance to have been DOA from the start.

“Did anything ever really count/Or was I just a two-year practice round?/You were all I'd ever known/And now I'm feeling stupid, you're forbidden…"

With time, NIKI knew exactly what to do when handed a load of lemons. She stated, “This project is without a doubt my most favorite thing I have ever made as an artist. It’s where younger me and current me meet and hang and have a fucking blast together."

“Before” will be part of NIKI’s album Nicole which arrives August 12, 2022.

The Top 21 Tunes of 2021!

As we begin 2022, here's a look back at my 21 favorite sounds of 2021. You could say it's a way of making up for my absence on my music blog site all of last year. I blame COVID. But my New Year's resolution is to do better, starting now.

Ready to review? Okay! On your mark... get set... SCROLL!

1. “brutal”-Olivia Rodrigo

I’m sure this former Disney star will be somewhere on just about everyone’s year-end list as her album “sour” was enormous! But when it comes to choosing the best Rodrigo single of the year, most will cite the overdriven “driver’s license” which I felt ran out of gas miles and miles ago. I still feel it easily takes a backseat to “déjà vu,” “good 4 u” and my favorite, “brutal.” Its grungy guitar riff and angsty lyrics are irresistible. The moral of this story, “Enjoy your youth!”

2. “I Need Some Of That”-Weezer

Rivers Cuomo – the band’s front-man – appears to have co-written this track partly as a tribute to Van Halen guitar-shredder Eddie who died the previous year, but also as a look-back at the band’s beginnings when he was a little punk listening to Aerosmith while raging in his hatchback. The song’s title is not only its hook, but the rock mantra of the year.

3. “Clementine”-Wet

I’ve been a fan of this Brooklyn-based band since I discovered “Deadwater” in 2016. This is the dream-pop track of the year. It’s super soft and synthy with abundant ambiance. Lead vocalist Kelly ZutrauIt said this chill recording began as a possible future Florence and the Machine release. “It’s about feeling ambivalence in a relationship and pushing yourself to feel something decisive even when it doesn’t come naturally.”

4. “Kiss Me More”-Doja Cat (featuring SZA)

Easily one of the best singles of the year. She took that perfect hit of her’s from 2019 (“Say So”) and made it even perfecter. “Kiss Me More” – a wonderfully produced, soft, infectiously funky jam – is a musical version of pink cotton candy. I’ve also determined this innocent-sounding bop is the most adorable ode to oral sex, ever. ("Boy, you write your name/I can do the same/Ooh, I love the taste/la-la-la-la/All on my tongue/I want it/la-la-la-la…") MeWow!

5. “I Don’t Live Here Anymore”-The War On Drugs

I immediately fell in love with this Philadelphia band after the release of their Lost in a Dream album in 2014 when I immediately heard a marvelous amalgamation of sounds from Dire Straits to The Killers. This could very well be their best, so far. “Anymore” is impeccably produced featuring female backing vocals, orchestral-like layers and great guitar-work which holds it all together. It’s a masterpiece which will trigger nostalgia in any classic rocker.

6. “Guerrilla”-Remi Wolf

Looking for some aural fun! This is an absolute banger of a song which is bouncy, bright and a bit bewitching. Remi’s vocal delivery is playful, flirty and cute. Example; I love her “heyyy” after delivering the line, “Look like my ex’s.” Ever since I've been playing “Woo!” last year, I’ve noticed she always sounds like she’s having the time of her life. The loud layers and distorted synths just add to the party atmosphere. My favorite line: “bubblegum, bubble-butt, bubblegum… She thе crazy one going ape-shit dumb!”

7. “Essence”-Wiz Kid (featuring Tems)

The sultry, slow, soulful groove on this track immediately reminded me of the vibe emanating from the 1972 Timmy Thomas single "Why Can't We Live Together?" And -- to be clear -- this African-inspired jam is all about the vibe. Although the song may sound somewhat sparse, I hear a lot going on here from R&B and pop to house music and even jazz. “Essence” is hypnotically addictive while inducing a not-a-care-in-the-world sensibility. With apologies to ARod, "R-E-L-A-X."

8. “Write a List of Thing To Look Forward To”-Courtney Barnett

I’ve been a Courtney fan ever since I first heard her sing the line (and now my go-to aphorism) “I wanna go out but I wanna stay home” from the 2015 album Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit. One of her latest tracks – “Write a List…” – is a COVID quarantine-inspired song about reconnecting with friends while making lemonade out of a lemon of a year. This song definitely has personality as it comes with jangly guitars, a casual country Aussie drawl and great advice.

9. “The Divine Chord”-The Avalanches (with MGMT/Johnny Marr)

This dreamy track – released just as 2020 became 2021 – tells the tale of a couple trying to hold a relationship together despite having totally different expectations of each other. For me, its artfully surrealistic backdrop only accentuates the heartbreak. This Australian trio recruited the indie band MGMT and The Smith’s Johnny Marr to contribute on this melancholy and strikingly brilliant yet extremely unique recording.

10. “True Seekers”-Sleigh Bells

I swear I’ve listened to this track several dozens of times since its release last September. “True Seekers” – with its steady, synthesized soundtrack – comes with (cryptic) lyrics (possibly) about lying to yourself. More specifically, choosing to remember a past relationship pleasantly without any of the pain but also fully aware you could never go back. I totally get that. “There goes a ghost against the ropes/Memory bliss, or so I'm told…” Nice.

11. “You Asked For This”-Halsey

I love just about everything she sings. Here, her trademark pixyish voice definitely adds feeling to her poignant story over distorted guitars. The lyrics are brutal, raw and honest and seem to come from the latest chapters of her diary. Here, she seems to be reflecting about her life… wanting fame and fortune, seeing her dreams come true, and then realizing it’s a life with a whole new set of problems. “You wished upon a falling star/And then left behind the avant-garde/For lemonade in crystal glasses/Picket fences, file taxes…”

12. “Leave the Door Open”-Silk Sonic

A year ago, singer Bruno Mars and rapper Anderson .Paak merged talents to create a melodic time machine which instantly transports listeners several decades into the past. After my very first exposure to “Leave the Door Open,” I immediately imagined the Spinners and Stylistics sharing the stage. It’s old school R&B with harmonies which radiate a magical power to sooth your inner-soul.

13. “Stacking Chairs”-Middle Kids

For me, this is the love song of the year. Basically it’s about a friendship evolving into a forever love and a theme of always being there for each other. After I learned lead-vocalist Hannah Joy wrote these beautiful words about her husband, Kids bassist Tim Fitz, I was even more obsessed. "Tim embodies that kind of 'stacking chairs' love… he's not just about the party. He's about when I'm tired and ugly and loves me in those moments." Awww. I simply adore this Sydney-based band as they have so many other great tunes in their repertoire.

14. “Monday”-Regrettes

Joining Fats Domino, Mamas & Papas, Carpenters, Bangles and others into the Mundane Monday Music Club is the LA (almost) all-girl group The Regrettes with an angsty track which sounds as if Katy Perry took over Nirvana. According to lead-vocalist Lydia Night, “At the time I was pretty much at the peak of my anxiety disorder. Every morning I was waking up and absolutely dreading the idea of functioning and being ‘productive’ for another day.” This track won’t magically make you love Mondays, but it will make the beginning of the work-week just a bit more bearable.

15. “Back Of My Hand”-Bachelor

This gothy track will take a few listens to appreciate, but it’s well worth the spins. Longtime friends from different bands -- Melina Duterte (Jay Som) and Ellen Kempner (Palehound) -- got together during the lockdown to create one of the darkest recordings of the year. “Back Of My Hand” is a slow burn about a groupie falling deep into a rabbit hole of obsession. “I'm your biggest fan/Got your song in my head/And your poster's above my bed/You watch me sleeping…” Bat-shit crazy good!

16. “Object Permanence”-Sydney Sprague

If a song is played in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? For me, that would be a resounding, “Yes!” Phoenix-native Sydney Sprague may have composed this track before COVID hit, but it came to into my life at a time to perfectly represent the isolationistic environment many of us were experiencing at the time the track was released as a single last year. I love the way she married the psychological concept of object permanence to a long-distance relationship.

17. “Caroline”-Arlo Parks

This track isn’t as wonderful as her previous year’s “Black Dog,” but it is still up there as one of my faves. The drums, the bass, the lyrics, the silences, the heartache… all accented underneath Arlo’s deliberately slow vocal delivery. Her poetry – words inspired from observing a couple’s quarrel – is beautifully descriptive, like reading a book and imagining the scene. Example: “Strawberry cheeks flushed with defeated rage.” Wow.

18. “Mine Forever”-Lord Huron

And now for something completely different, at least for this century. It’s a format I personally call spaghetti-western-styled-beach-psychedelia with a sound that’s somewhere between Roy Orbison and the Fleet Foxes. This band – based in Los Angeles – delivers a beautifully haunting performance about loss, sorrow and longing. Its parent album (Long Lost) comes with other gems like “Not Dead Yet” and the title track.

19. “All Too Well”-Taylor Swift (10-minute version)

Because of contractual complications, Taylor decided to redo many of the tracks from earlier in her career to legally regain control of her music. Back then, she was told to trim the length of her composition “All Too Well” in half which she soon regretted. Lucky for us, last year Swift rerecorded that very personal heartbreaking track as it was intended, a 10-minute ballad about her badly broken heart making this a double-dose of Jake-ache.

20. “Crutch”-Band of Horses

After a couple significant hits around a dozen of years ago, Band of Horses sort of rode off into the sunset leaving me wondering if they would ever make a triumphant return. Well, the Seattle-based band did just that late last year with a couple of advance-singles from their optimistic forthcoming album Things Are Great. In fact, I feel “Crutch” could be their best recording since 2010’s “Laredo.” “Crutch” – featuring lyrics that seem to refer to love and dependence -- flows over you, all warm and fuzzy-like. Also notable, those beautifully layered guitars which emanate a bit of a Cure-vibe. Giddy-up!

21. “Hush”-Marias

At first listen, I thought this was a new Banks offering. Nope. It’s SoCal’s Marias. Being familiar with the band’s gentle 2020 ballad “Jupiter,” this release was a bit unexpected but definitely welcome. “Hush” is pulp-pop, delivered deep, deliberate and delicious. I hear an Eilish-aura and a Garbage-groove with lyrics that sound a bit masochistic and tagged with a Donnie Brasco-ism. How good is it? “Fuhgeddaboudit.”

bonus. “it only gets worse, i promise”-Ekkstacy

I’m most likely the only person to include this track on a year-end list. I not only got hooked with this song’s minimalistic rawness and dark, depressing lyrics, but also with its pessimistic all-lowercase title. The rookie Vancouver artist who goes by the moniker ekkstacy stated, “All my music is the bad stuff. I’ve never made a happy song before.” That’s true here as you get a lot of alienation and vulnerability packed into just two-and-a-half minutes. Why the gloomy garage-punk? He answered, “It’s like therapy.”

bonus. “Gaslight”-Willow Smith

Now here’s that heavy dose of indie-emo pop-punk you didn’t know you needed. After experiments in R&B, alternative and folk, Willow (daughter of Will) is offering up something a lot grungier… and I likey! You may wonder, “Why is this particular banger criminally short?” (You’ll notice “Gaslight” has a total time of under two-minutes.) I’m thinking it's because drummer Travis Barker adds so much intense energy to this self-love themed track, they couldn’t help but race through the recording session. Well, it’s got me wanting more! Also off of her parent album, lately, i feel EVERYTHING you’ll find similar rockers like “GROW,” and “transparentsoul” which are just as punchy and powerful.

bonus. “Steal My Sunshine”-Portugal. The Man (with Cherry Glazerr)

Remakes aren’t typically my thing, but the Alaska to Oregon-based outfit Portugal. The Man demonstrated you can have success in stealing some other band’s sunshine. Len’s 1999 one-hit-wonder original is topped here with a much more polished rendition. For this take, Clementine Creevy (of Cherry Glazerr) supplies the accompanying female answer vocals. You now have your updated lazy, hazy, crazy Summer song all set for 2022. If you haven’t the time now, be sure to check out this track L-A-T-E-R this week.